Category Archives: Darlin

My Philosophy on Money

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Money is hard for me to wrap my brain around.

I know I need it to live, buy things, and enjoy life, but I don’t always know for sure how I’m going to do all of these things. I just do the best I can and it seems to work.

One reason why I think money is hard for me is because I’m not a number gal. I’m not good at Math, I don’t speak the language, I mean basics yes, but I’ve always struggled with remembering numbers.

Let me share an example; when I go to the store to buy bananas they have a price. The labeled price may be higher or lower than the last time, best price or average price. I would never know the difference. I don’t know how much bananas sell for. If I need bananas, I buy them. I know this sounds weird, like I never shop, but I do. I should know, but I don’t. Even right now I have no idea how much they are and I don’t care. Maybe that’s why I don’t know or pay attention, is because it’s not important to me. Interestingly enough. For years when I would make a trip to the store for some groceries, my total, without adding or counting what I had in the cart was almost always around $70-$75. No kidding! Yes, I bought a lot of the same or similar things but not always. If we needed it, I just bought it and if we didn’t I didn’t. I’m very frugal anyway and always have been. Now my average is more like $100-$120. Still that’s not much compared to what most people spend.

I don’t really like to shop for clothes much. I love to thrift! One of the funnest things about thrifting is the hunt. Looking for a treasure! “One man’s garbage is another man’s (or woman’s) treasure,” is truth. Something about buying a used item, and it’s still usable makes my heart happy.

I would also consider myself very humble as far a my looks go. Honestly I’m just an average looking gal. I went to cosmetology school when I was young, and still have my license, but I don’t spent much on myself. I remember my teachers in school telling us that what we do is enhance or compliment the natural beauty. What that tells me is blue hair, super long nails, and incredibly long and thick eyelashes are not natural. I have are hard time spending money on things that are not necessary, and cost a ton. I know that lots of girls get hair extensions and they can cost thousands of dollars. I know that is not a good thing. I colored my hair for years. Then I didn’t want to pay someone to do it, so I taught my sweety how to do it. He struggle with it a little and I finally thought “Why?” I don’t care about having my hair colored, I’m getting older and I think I should act my age. So I quit. I was only spending about $10-$15 dollars a month on my hair, so I decided to donate $10/month to our churches Humanitarian Fund. It’s not much, but I feel better about that, and I have grown very fond of my gray hair.

As far as going on trips and adventures go, we are very careful about that. We are trying to prepare for retirement, and feel like we don’t want to struggle then. Paying extra on our house, doing some investing, and living frugal will hopefully make retirement happen. But we do have very generous people in our lives who are always blessing us with fun things to do. My best friend is a gem about letting us visit and enjoy fun times with them. My siblings have helped us go on sibling trips by sharing the financial responsibilities. We mostly just do visits with our friends and family close to home.

When the kids were little money was such a challenge, but we paid our tithing and still do, and we have never gone without. We were able to help 3 of kids serves LDS missions, and enjoyed a few trips a year to Bear Lake and Park City. My in-laws had a trailer at Bear Lake and a timeshare at Park City. We had so much fun and spent very little money.

To some up, I’d say my philosophy about money is respect it, what it can do for you, even if you live modestly. Always have a grateful heart. Like I told the kids years ago, not all blessings are financial. We have everything we need and we are very comfortable. We use only what we need, and share with others.

Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

God is good. Money is a necessary part of life, but when you careful and always grateful there is always enough!

Growing Up.

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As a child I wanted to be grown up. I wanted to buy a car, get married, have children, own a home and decorate. It all sounded like fun! And seeing people travel the world, and having fun adventures always looks better on film, or in pictures. We have no idea what went into the planning, the money involved and the energy it took to do their life.

The hardest part about growing up for me has been doing hard things. Responsible things like, working, or giving birth, or making dinner. There is an artist that I love named Mary Engelbreit. She made a calendar years ago with the quote, “Life is Just So Daily” on the front. I’m sure kids don’t get it, but adults do.

Since I have been an adult, I’ve realized our parents and others made it look good. They must have had struggles and challenges, but I was really unaware. I must have been busy being a kid. I heard it said once, “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!” Hahaha! That’s funny, and true! There are mundane daily things like dishes, laundry and chores, but also some really hard challenges and experiences. You just need to keep going, keep living and plugging along.

I have spent the majority of my adult years very overwhelmed and feeling pretty bad about myself. My expectations of what it would be like and how I would manage were way off. I was very disappointed in myself. Then I learned some great lessons. I learned that life is harder as an adult than I thought it would be. I learned that it’s ok to not have it all together. I learned that for the rest of my life I will be trying to get a grip. And that’s ok. I learned that even in all the challenges of being an adult, there are some major benefits too.

Some of the best blessings and most cherished experiences you can only have with a sweetheart and in a family, as an adult. Getting married and having your best friend as your mate is like a play date. He’s so wonderful, and fun, and sometimes I with I could send him home to “his” house, but we just go to bed and things are better in the morning. To create life with my sweetheart is so wonderful. To see him holding and loving and caring for our kids, and grandkids is such a treasure. To have things and stuff that we have worked for, a home, cars, fun toys, comfortable furniture, and we can’t forget food to enjoy is the best. But most important is the relationships, the family, the time and the love we have experienced in a greater sense than ever before in life.

Growing up is hard, but it is the best!

Happy Anniversary!

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My Darlin and I have been married for 34 years.

I’m so grateful for him.

He is definitely a keeper.

Some of the things we’ve learned in the years we’ve been married are what keep us married. Being married is work. It is full of challenges, frustrations, complete happiness, disappointment, and feeling loved. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Things I’ve learned in 34 years:

  1. He means more to me now, because of all we’ve been through together. Never give up on your relationship. Going through tough times together, helps us grow closer.
  2. It’s best to lower your expectations. Seriously. It’s true you have to sometimes anticipate how a certain situation will happen in order to mentally prepare for it, but don’t have grandiose ideas. The way romantic movies show relationships is not real life. Guys don’t think like that, most the time.
  3. Sometimes we all make mistakes. One time my hubby bought a car without talking to me about it first. The reason is too much information to share in this post, and I may tell the story in a future post, but that was very difficult on our marriage, and we both learned some very important lesson’s. Make sure your feelings are heard and then forgive.
  4. Love him for who he is, and don’t try to change him. He shouldn’t want to try to change you either. If changes are made, we make them together by setting goals and working on doing our best, together.
  5. Appreciate his gifts, and talents. My darlin loves sports, and he is good at all sports. Me? Not so much, and I don’t enjoy them as much as he does. So I let him know if I want to do something different while he is enjoying what he loves. He does his thing, and I do mine.
  6. Compartments. Men have compartments. Little mental places saved for what they are doing at the moment. I learned this at a marriage conference we went to and it is one of the most helpful things I’ve ever learned. When he is at work, he is in his work compartment. So if I say to him, “Did you miss me/think about me today, at work?” The answer is, “No.” He was thinking about work. I’m ok with this, it makes sense to me. So I don’t ask. I feel happy he is doing his job and providing for us. When he’s with me, he is in the “Joy” compartment. Yes, he is thinking about me. I love it when he is thinking about me. I think about him many times throughout the day. That’s what women do, and that’s ok too.
  7. Physical touch is important, but not the most important. It is almost always more important to a man than a women. Knowing that, I love to be close to him, and I’m considerate about his needs. Because he loves me, he is considerate about my needs.
  8. When you get older, new challenges appear. We have been married for 34 years. My mom and dad have been married almost 64 years. Things you’ve never dealt with in your life together become part of the journey. My father-in-law had Alzheimer’s. I’m sure my mother-in-law had no idea she would have to learn how to love her sweetheart in a whole new way after 50 years of marriage. I admire older couples who love each other through thick and thin. Staying positive and having a sense of humor during the aging process is important.
  9. A sense of humor is very helpful. I really love to laugh. It’s a great core work out! When frustrating things happen in our day to day routines, try to see the humor. Sometimes it takes years for an experience to become funny, but they almost always do. Don’t be overly sensitive about experiences. “Let it go.” as the Disney movie says.
  10. Gratitude. Honestly gratitude is the best way to make it through almost anything. You don’t have to be rich to be grateful. God gives us little blessings everyday. When our “Most Quoted” son Alex was serving his LDS mission to South Africa we saw that life can be very difficult and there are still blessings all around. The children in the orphanages in Swaziland were some of the happiest children. I love gratitude so much, because no matter what is happening in your marriage and life, you can always choose to be grateful. It is an eternal gift given by Father in Heaven to choose. I choose to be grateful for a wonderful husband, and marriage. I know I’m blessed to have the opportunity to have a sweetheart and create a family. That is what life is about.

Bonus: The most important thing I’ve learned is that God wants our marriage to be successful. He is a part of our everyday. We ask Him to bless our marriage, and help us to be patient and loving, and happy together. If you include God in your marriage He will bless you. Ask yourself if how you treat your spouse is ok with Him. If it’s not, do better. If it is, continue on in your wonderful journey.

Happy Anniversary to the best man for me! I love you sweetie! Thanks for being my darlin!

Reunion Time!

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I have a dear friend named Julie.

She has been my best friend since high school. We have been friends for long enough that we have some pretty troubling and embarrassing stories of our time together. I am amazed we made it though some of them. I’m so thankful we did. She is a gem. So loyal, and generous, and fun!

We have had this friendship and history for years, before we both got married. Then we both got married the same year within a month of each other. Both of our husbands names are Brett. Only her hubby’s only has one “t”. We started having our children within a year of each other. Because we love each other and we like to be with each other, as our children were born, they became friends. The kids don’t quite match up as far as ages go, but each of our kids are very close to each other. We used to call them our chosen cousins.

Let me add here that she has lived 350 miles away from me since just after we both got married. You have to put a big effort in to stay best friends when you live far away from each other. Also, we used to write letters to each other, because it cost too much to call and talk. Now we have cell phones and communicating is easy.

Our children are all adults. Almost all of them are married. Most of the married ones are parents.

We haven’t had all our kids together for years. They are all so busy and when my darlin and I visit them, it’s usually just the two of us.

We told Natasha we were going to visit with our friends and have a reunion. She says, “Now how are we related to them?” Kelsey said, “We’re not.” Natasha said, “What!!! We’re not related to them?” Haha, we laughed and laughed. All this time she thought they were family. Well, they are! We chose them.

So we had a reunion this last week in a little town in central Utah named Marysvale. It is an old mining town. There are lots of trails for riding 4 wheelers and hiking. We had so much fun! All of our kids and their spouses and grandkids where there. Wow! We know how to multiply.

What a fun time we had! It was very crowded, noisy, and fun!

I love our chosen family. And my bestie Julie!

Change: Out With the Old, In With the New!

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Sometimes change is a good thing!

First the old: It all started 30 or so years ago my hubby became a locksmith. It was a choice he might not have made, except his dad decided to learn how to do it too. He was a locksmith full time for at least a year. It was a big investment financially in the beginning. There were tools, machines, keys, etc. to buy to get started. Then we realized it was not the job for us. Many things about the job made it a hard job, on call on holidays, no insurance, on and on. Even though my darlin kept the tools and machines for all these years, he didn’t do it as his job. He had moved on to better opportunities, and at this time has a great job with many benefits.

Now for the new: Like I said this locksmith job was many years ago, and we have had the tools and machines for all this time. They were taking up room in our tiny garage, and it wasn’t leaving enough room for the car. I said, “Why don’t you put all these things from locksmithing in the trunk of you car, and then when you are driving around town you can stop at a locksmithing business here in town and see if they want to buy these things?” He agreed and put them in his trunk. About six months later, he came home from running errands and said, “Guess what? I sold my locksmithing stuff.” Yay!!!

I wondered what he would do with the money.

He had such a great idea. He decided to buy a tennis racket stringer. The best part about that, is that he loves tennis!!! He is good at tennis, and plays at least once a week with friends. He had spend time and money on the locksmithing stuff so it was hard for him to part with them, but it ended up being a really great thing!

I’m so glad! 

Eight is Great!

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Today it has been eight years since I started my blog. 

As I read through the blog, I am so happy that I have been able to share these stories and experiences with everyone!

I am so thankful that I have written them down.

They are a treasure to me.

My life and all that I have experienced is wonderful. Even the challenges have taught me so much. Some of the best things I’ve learned in the last eight years are:

1-Family is everything. I can’t imagine my life with out my family. Both the one I grew up in and the one I have with my Darlin. I feel blessed to have a sweet husband, wonderful children, and I am in love with my beautiful grandchildren. I’m thankful I have a blog full of memories of my family.

2-A knowledge of God and my Savior, Jesus Christ is a blessing in my life everyday. The gospel gives me direction, and hope for my life. 

3-I am so thankful for my ancestors. The family who came before me, and who paved the way so that life would be better for me. They left homes they knew, for the unknown. They gave up comfort for the challenge of a journey to a new life. I can’t imagine what they went through, but I am so thankful. I love them!

4-Grandbabies are the best!!! I am completely in love with them! They are my reward for not killing my kids. Haha. But seriously, how wonderful it is to have these sweet little people who I get to love, and spoil, and then send them home. It is the best!

Thank you for your visit to my blog!

I love to have you come. 

Sunday Best!

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This quote describes my darlin to a “T.”

“Love is one of the chief characteristics of Deity, and ought to be manifested by those who aspire to be the sons of God. A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.” -Joseph Smith

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You will not usually see my darlin cruising around with his chainsaw and working on the Sabbath, but we have had some serious wind storms, and trees have been falling on homes, cars, and making a real mess where we live.

Last night the wind start to blow really hard. I’m sure a lot of people didn’t sleep well. Sometime in the night the power went out and by 7:30 this morning I received a text saying that 9:00 church had been cancelled. The power was out in the church.

My sweetie decided to go for a ride and see what things looked like. He ended up driving past our old home. It has many tall pine trees around it. He noticed one pine tree was tipping a bit and when he looked at the ground realized it was going to fall over. He quickly went to the door and let the people who live there now know they needed to move the cars that were parked very close to the tree. They rushed to move the cars and within a minute or so the tree came down right where the cars were.

They were so grateful!

My darlin showed up at home and told me the story, then left with his chainsaw to cut up the tree.

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When he got back to our old home. The tree next to the one that fell, was beginning to tip as well. Some of the neighbors noticed the activity going on and started to help clear the limbs and clean up while others started cutting down the other tree.

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I drove over to see the damage. I was amazed and surprised that it never happened while we lived there. What a wonderful neighborhood. People were coming to help without any special request. Just seeing the need and helping. I love these people!

I love my darlin for blessing so many others, and always being “anxious to bless the whole human race!”

Hope your Sunday was the Best! Love, Joy

My Most Lovin!

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Happy Anniversary!

We’ve spent 29 years together!

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Why has it worked? We aren’t a perfect couple, but we have learned some things.

First of all, we began our relationship as friends. We were friends for years before we went on a date. In fact, when he asked me out the first time, I wasn’t sure if it was a date or if we were going out as friends. I decided if he opened the door for me, it was a date. Guess what? He opened the door for me!

Second, we understand that neither one of us is perfect. We will bug each other from time to time. We do our best to treat each other with love, respect, and kindness. I feel so blessed to have this kind of marriage.

Third, we include God in our relationship. He is the most important. If we are both doing our best to live the kind of life we know that our Father in Heaven would be pleased with, we will be treating each other right, and we will have love in our marriage.

It is hard work, but very much worth it. I wouldn’t trade him for anything, and I am thankful everyday for my life with my darlin.

We’re All Together!

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Life really is awesome! Yes, there are ups and downs, but it really is awesome!

Falling asleep the other night I thought to myself,”My whole family is here right now.” We haven’t been together for 2 1/2 years.

Riley joined the army and left for boot camp for 5 months. Alex left on his mission and was gone for two years. Kelsey left on her mission and was gone for a year and a half. She returned this past Thursday.

I am so happy to have my whole family together. I’m not sure I have the words to express the gratitude I feel, but after that thought came to my mind the other night, I said a prayer thanking Father in Heaven for the gift of family, and for my children and their safe return. To be all together Dad, Mom, and all the kids is such a great place to be. I am so grateful for the love we share.

…..Family…..

I love them!

Family History Friday: Karen Petra Hogensen

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Karen is my darlin’s 2nd great gandmother.

She was born in Norway in 1830. Her father died when she was quite young. When she was old enough she became a nursemaid to the children of a wealthy family, and later she became cook for the family. 

She went to a church meeting that was being held nearby, out of curiosity, and was very impressed. The meeting was with Mormon missionaries. After investigating the church she was baptized. When the family she worked for became aware of her baptism, they were concerned for her welfare. After a discussion with their minister, it was decided that Petra could still work as long as she didn’t influence the other servants. She met Christian Hogensen at the Mormon meetings. He had just joined the church previously.

     Petra wanted to emigrate with other members of the church in 1859, but she had no money. Christian offered to loan her the money. Petra accepted and they sailed from Liverpool, England on the William Tapscott in the spring of 1859. This proved to be a very romantic voyage for Christian and Petra. They were married while they were still on the Atlantic Ocean. 

Story taken from “History of Bear Lake Pioneers”.