A New Normal.

A month ago, my normal changed. My daily thoughts, the things I worry about, my sorrow, my tears all became about one thing; my Daddy. He passed away. He has left a giant hole in my life and the lives of our family members. When someone you love is gone from your days, and the time becomes greater since you saw them last, it is sometimes overwhelming, and you just have to stop whatever you’re doing and cry. He is, and always has been, the most wonderful man I know. His life and contribution to this world was significant. He left things, and places, and situations better than he found them. People were always touched by his love and sensitivity to them and their welfare. He worked hard all his life. He served others and made contributions that are still blessing those he loved. He wrote stories and histories and shared them with everyone. He served our country. He loves our Father in Heaven, our Savior, and has a testimony of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. His example is one that I will work the rest of my life to try to emulate.

When I heard the news, I was devastated, but not surprised. He has struggled with a heart wearing out for years. It finally said, “Enough, you’ve done enough.” He was traveling with my little brother, and his wife, and her parents when he passed. I knew that they would be sad, wondering if the trip was too much, but I believe it was a great send off. They traveled up the west coast of the United States, starting at San Fransisco where my parents met, and ended up in Victoria, Canada. While traveling home, they planned to visit my Dad’s older sister, his only living sibling. He passed away at her home. He may have been holding on to see her. My sweet Mama came home without him, and now will be there in their home without him. She is heart broken. Their 64th anniversary was the week after he passed.

The funeral was wonderful. How could it not be? When you celebrate the life of someone like my Dad, it really is a celebration! Many came to pay their respects. Many had stories about how my Daddy had blessed their life, or how much they admired him, or how something he did at the Family History Center was inspired. It was wonderful to hear stories about how great he is to others. And now we just mourn, and try to get used to life without him here.

I really feel that time spent with family is the most important way to spend time. I will miss time spent with my Dad for the rest of my life. I will miss seeing him most every Sunday for dinner. I will miss our monthly dates, and cutting his hair, and trimming his beard. I will miss him calling and my Daddy’s ring tone of Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”, playing. When I hear that song, I can’t help thinking about him.

I worry about my sweet Mama. “Is she ok?” “I better call her and check on her.” “I need to take her to lunch.” “What can I do to love her and help her?” These, and more, are all thoughts in my mind several times a day. She’s seems to be doing quite well. Amazingly well.

I am thankful for our strong family bond. I am so thankful that I know that he loves our family and that we love him. We saw him often, and tell each other all the time how much we love each other.

The times I struggle most are when I’m feeling sorry for me. I believe with all my heart that my Daddy is in a better place. He is happy and very busy doing great things and blessing others. Before he passed, he was uncomfortable and frustrated that he couldn’t do what he used to be able to do. He can do anything now. He is at peace and so are we because he lived a great life. His legacy is one of love, service, sacrifice, work, developing talents, faith in God, righteousness, and having fun while he did it all. At the very center of his life was his sweetheart, my Mama, and family. We will all be together in heaven some day.

I love him, and I’m so grateful he is my Daddy.