I have in my notes on my phone a list.

At first I called it: Past Jobs/Past Regrets. 

I have had many jobs in my life. I didn’t really mean to have many jobs, but it just happened. As my Darlin and I would drive around town here or there, I would say, “I worked there!” He said I needed to make a list. I thought that might be a good idea just for fun. So I did. I started my list with my first job after babysitting as a teenager.

Let me name a few of my jobs: picking cherries, fast food, summer recreation, t-shirt store, flowers, phone sales, motel, delivery, Fitness instructor, retail, amusement park, selling knifes, photographer assistant, Cosmetology, book store, personal assistant, dentist office, daycare, lunch lady, real estate, and insurance, just to name a few.

I can’t say I’ve spent a lot of time at each job.

Some jobs I just tried, to see how things went.

Sometimes the employer called me to offer me a job, without me even applying. Yes, that happened.

Sometimes I was in desperate need of a job to help pay bills, and took what I could get.

Sometimes I wasn’t a good fit for them, sometimes they weren’t a good fit for me.

I wouldn’t trade any experience I have had. I have learned so much, and all of that experience is part of who I am.

I ran into two of my friends at the grocery store, and they were asking about my job at the flower shop. I told them how much I love it. How blessed I feel to have it. Somehow my job list came up in the conversation. They said they wanted to see it. I pulled out my phone and showed them the list. They scanned down the list, asking about this job or that. I would tell them about some of my experiences. They said they didn’t even want to go to that many interviews, let alone work at that many jobs. They told me I was brave, motivated and amazing. I loved that. They said, “You need to change the name of your list to: “My Bravery and Experience”, list, which I did.

My last job on my Bravery and Experience list is my last, best job @ the flower shop!

I love my job! Sometimes you have to go through some hard, not fun, jobs to get to your last, best job! I’m glad I have “My Bravery and Experience” list, and to have all the bravery and experience to go with it!

There are some things in life that just fill my heart with happiness! One of those things are

Puffin’s!

All of God’s creations are amazing. I always try to make a habit of noticing and truly appreciating the beauty and wonder around me.

On my list of favorites is this cute sea bird called a Puffin. 

The Puffin is a small, black and white bird, with a colorful beak. It’s beak is not always colorful, but during the breeding season it is colorful. They can dive deep to fish for food, or fly for long periods of time. When they rest on the open sea, they can sit on the ocean and ride the waves. These cute little birds mate for life, but separate during the winter months coming back to the same place during breeding season. The female only lays one egg and she and her mate take turns sitting on the egg and feeding the Puffling once it is hatched. Yes, the young Puffin is called a Puffling! I could watch them for hours.

That brings up the reason for the post, I found a bird cam that is on Seal Island in Maine, Puffin’s breed there and Audubon has a camera so I can watch them as long as I want. Here’s the link for you!

It is called the Puffin loafing ledge.

The Puffin’s are truly an example of living a good life.

First: The never forget where home is. Second: They mate for life. They separate for a time and return to each other. Third: They work hard for their food and to feed the family. Forth: They know how to soar and they know how to dive. Sometimes life gives you ups and sometimes life gives downs. Fifth: When they need a break, the take it easy and float on the waves. You could say they “go with the flow”.

Maybe we can all learn to be more like Puffin’s!

I’ve been going through boxes…still.

I moved a year ago, we downsized.

Somethings you can go through quick, and junk or donate. Somethings take time, like the kids school papers, and family memorabilia. My expectation was that I would scrapbook, or organize as we lived, and experienced the things that are now in boxes, while we were experiencing the memory.

Wrong!

I was busy when they happened,

Living!

Now, if you’re one of those mom’s like I was, don’t be hard on yourself. Do the best you can, and someday you can be like me. 😉 I found some pictures today of my kids when they were just tiny. With tears streaming down my cheeks I thought of all the fun we had as a family when they were little. It was the best! I wouldn’t trade it for anything!!!

If I had organized all the things I meant to, I wouldn’t be spending time today thinking about how blessed I’ve been to have children, a sweet darlin, and wonderful memories of all of us growing together!

Riley 2 years old with Uncle Brad

Alex 6 months old with Grandpa

Riley 5 years old and Kelsey 2 years old (me in the background)

I stated in a post several months ago that I struggle with depression. 

The end of March marks one year in our new (old) home.

It has been quite a year! 

These are the things that happened in the last year:

1-We sold our home of 18 years. Left a wonderful neighborhood and church family, and moved to a new wonderful neighborhood and church family.

2-We bought a darling new home, built in 1906 and half the size of our old home.

3-We all lived together in our old home. My oldest with his sweet wife and baby in the basement apartment while they looked for a home, and our three other young adult children going to school, etc.

Not anymore! Oldest son and wife, Riley and Janet bought a home, second son Alex bought a home, and the girls, Kelsey and Emily moved in with him.

Which means….we became “empty nesters!” (Much more difficult than I anticipated)

4-Second son, Alex met and fell in love with his sweetheart, Amber. We had a wedding in October!

5-Girls no longer want to live with brother, Kelsey moves back with us, Emily moves in with Grandmother.

6-Quit my job. It was just too much.

7-Emily met and fell in love with her sweetheart, Anthony. We had a wedding in January. Spent the whole month of January sewing, creating centerpieces, and ordering wedding decor.

Not to mention, that since 2010 we sent Riley to Boot Camp, Alex to South Africa to serve a mission, Kelsey to Texas to serve and mission, and Emily to the West Indies to serve a mission, we received them all home and had three weddings, a funeral for my father-in-law and many other changes, including health issues for my parents. This last five years have probably been the busiest time of my life.

I’m only telling you all of this, because sometimes I think life just wears you out!

I wouldn’t change any of these experiences for anything, but I feel pooped. The state of my mind doesn’t help sometimes.

The reason I titled this post “Are You Feeling It” is, because I consider feelings very important.  There are feelings of worry, fear for the future, for the safety of family, etc. Sometimes when I have feelings come to mind that are not helpful to me, I have learned some pretty good coping skills, like looking for all the good things that are happening, also making sure I am taking care of myself.

I would say the feeling I long for most on a consistent basis is Peace. I really want to feel that all the time, but that may be too unrealistic.

There are times when I want to feel close to my Father in Heaven. It’s not that I don’t feel Him to a certain extent, but not the way I want to feel Him. It could be my happy pill, sometimes I’ve heard from others taking medication that they can’t even cry. The pill makes them feel numb. I need the pill to be my best, but I want to know He is there for me. That I am of infinite worth to Him. I want to know He is hearing my prayers and answering them.

I have decided it is an issue of Faith, for me. I was studying Faith and thought, maybe I don’t have enough Faith.

In the Bible dictionary it says Faith is a principle of action. You know how people say to “exercise” Faith. I thought that explains a lot…I never really like to “exercise.” Haha 🙂 (I wish I could say I was kidding. I know, exercise releases endorphins.) So anyway, if Faith is a principle of action, I decided to make a list of things I could do to “exercise” Faith. Here it is: Study my scriptures, pay my tithing and offerings, attend all my church meetings, take the sacrament in a meaningful way-thinking about the Savior and His atonement for me, doing my best at my church calling, also really putting an effort into saying heartfelt prayers at least morning and before bed. I already do these things, but maybe not my very best effort. I committed to build my Faith.

And guess what?

It helped. I started noticing things in my day going smoother, or having some tiny insignificant thing go just right. I even had answers to prayers come in a way I could not deny. I know there may be some doubters, but I felt it! I felt Him. I felt Him loving me and I am feeling much better than I have for a year.

If you are struggling with your Faith, do your best to put your desire to increase your Faith into action. This lets Heavenly Father know you are willing to do your part, to act, to meet Him in the middle or even more. Whatever it takes, do it! I can say I can Feel it, and I am so grateful for my increased Faith.