Category Archives: Lessons

COVID-19

Posted on by
Reply

It’s been a tough year in our world.

I’m sure you know.

I have to put an extra amount of effort in to just getting through the day sometimes. The world feels like it is in chaos. So much going on, but it all started for me with Covid-19. This virus has been making its way around the world causing death and heartache. Covid-19 stands for “Co” Corona, “Vi” Virus, and “D” disease. 19 is the year the virus came out. I don’t like that. So-

Aren’t acronyms great?

Looking at the acronym which holds so many negative and frustrating feelings, I made a choice to change what COVID-19 means to me. It doesn’t make it go away, or change the things associated with it, but it helps me focus on what “I” can do. I get to choose how I feel and what I’m going to do inside with the worry, sadness, frustration, and anger I feel about this year. So here is what COVID-19 means to me…

Choose Optimism & Valor In Distress 19

19 is a prime number- only divisible by the number 1 and itself.

Number one is God in my life. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13. I know God is very aware of what is going on right now. I know He’s OK with us having hard things happen sometimes. We need it. It reminds us what’s most important in life. It’s not stuff, or popularity. It’s not running around busy, busy, busy. It helps us grow in ways He wants us to grow.

What can I do?

I have been reminded and I am grateful for the reminder to slow down, spend time on loving my family and loving myself. When I think that 19 is prime, only divisible with “1” which I will focus on as God, and “itself”, that’s me. What can I do? And I decided to set 19 goals to accomplish this year and on, depending on when the goals are accomplished and when the virus is gone.

1-Slow down-Stop, sit still, think. What is God telling me about my life. What is my body trying to tell me. Am I listening to my intuition or the spirit tell me how best to go forward. There is a peace that comes with feeling connected to a higher power. He knows everything, I know not much. I love being lead. I feel calm when I think of Heavenly Father and my Savior. I feel their love and peace. Slowing down is very helpful.

2-Be grateful-Always look for the blessings in life. It is amazing how many tiny insignificant things I see, feel, or notice on a daily basis that lets me know there is order in the chaos. I have a gratitude journal, it is super helpful as a reminder to be grateful.

3-Spend time with my spouse, reminding each other what we love about each other-Busyness is one of the enemies of a great marriage. You really need to make time for each other and work on loving each other. Ask yourself, “Why did I marry him/her?” and appreciate those things again. Look for growth and service. My sweetie has served me in many ways through the years and I love him for it. We need to laugh and have fun with each other. Since we live in the same house and the virus can’t stop us from being together, we have had a lot of time to laugh and love each other.

4-Reading my scriptures everyday-I have been reading for my whole life, and I never get tired of it. There is always something new to learn. I love that about the scriptures.

5-Having meaningful church at home-We’re still working on the meaningful. I love Zooming sacrament meeting in my PJ’s. That’s something I never thought I’d be able to do. I would miss it, if it weren’t for Zoom. Thank you, Zoom people.

6-Organizing our home-Cleaning out closets, organizing memorabilia. I refer to this as, “Getting a grip.” Still working on it.

7-Going through old pictures-What a fun activity!! Looking through pictures of our sweet children when they were little, and sharing fun old pictures with each other through text.

8-Writing notes and letters to loved ones-I love getting letters. I try to write notes to those I love and let them know I love and appreciate them.

9-Donating to charities-After I go through the closets and realize I don’t need all this stuff, I make an appointment and donate it.

10-Gathering in a careful way-this is easier in the summer, or warmer weather. We can still space out and wear masks, like meeting at the park. Everywhere we’ve gone for a drive or to get away form the usual this year, has been packed with people, canyons, lakes, Spiral Jetty’s. I think we’re all thinking the same thing, get out in nature and gather carefully.

11-Family History-Oh, how I love my ancestors! I need to spend more time on them. I love the technology that allows me to do family history from home. I love learning and knowing about their lives and what they went through. It helps me to be grateful and know that I can do hard things, too.

12-Scrapbooks-These will always be necessary in my life. I love keeping a record of what we’re doing each year, and remembering events that mean so much in our lives. I’ll always do this!

13-Deep clean our house-Still doing this, but its definitely a source of feeling good.

14-Movie marathons, games, and laughing-Harry Potter, Scrabble, and others. Good times. There is something about watching a whole series or all the seasons from a show or movie that is satisfying. Great fun!

15-Build a greenhouse with my Darlin-I’ve always wanted a greenhouse. Me and my Darlin worked on this beautiful greenhouse all summer long. Many hours of love and creativity went into building this “She-shed”! My Darlin loves me!

16-Help my Mama-shopping for her, or with her if it’s not crowded, and sharing lunch together, listening and sharing what is going on in both of our lives since Daddy passed away.

17-Simplify-What matters most. What is the best thing/s I can do with today? It makes a difference to really think about my time.

18-Be productive everyday-I struggle when I’m sad/overwhelmed/super bummed. It is all I can do to get a shower and do the dishes, somedays. I do my best and that is enough.

19–Choose optimism & valor in distress! I love that even though I struggle with depression, I still have a desire to be happy, and productive. I push myself to do it, and am always glad I did.

I hope that the way I have chosen to look at COVID-19 is a help to you too.

We can do it!

Not Very Amusing, Or Is It?

Posted on by
Reply

In our part of the world we have a popular amusement park. It is the closest thing Utah has to Disneyland. It’s called Lagoon!

We went every year when I was growing up. The park would send discount tickets to our church, and we’d get to go and save a little money. The day was called Stake Lagoon Day.

Some families had lots of kids, like ours, so getting a discount for admission was a big deal, and it was expensive enough that most families only took their kids once a year. At least I thought that, it might not even be true, I know we only went once a year. Anyway, I loved this event, and looked forward to it for most of the summer. I couldn’t wait to ride the scariest rides. Or see how many times I could go on the fast ones. I have such good memories of summer trips to Lagoon.

Our family would pile in the car with a picnic and make our way to the park. It was about a half an hour from our house in the car. Once there, we’d put all the needed items for the picnic in the wagon and enter the park. After purchasing our tickets, and going through the gate we’d all walk to the rear of the park where there were many small grassy areas to set up a picnic. Some areas had only grass to put a blanket on and some had picnic tables. We’d always pick what we thought would be the best spot. When we were little, one of our parents took us around to the rides while the other stayed with our food, wagon and blankets. It was a kind of Home-base where we could leave things like prizes or jackets or treats to be looked after by Mom. As we got older the same routine happened except once at the picnic area, Dad would give us instructions for who could go where, always using the buddy system, then send us out into the park for a period of time and telling us to come back to eat at an appointed time. He always left the park for a little trip to go get fried chicken at KFC or the local grocery store. What fun memories!

I worked there one summer right after high school. It was a fun job, because I could stay after work and ride the rides. I could go on my day off and ride, all at no cost, because I worked there. It was so great!

Then something happened. I started not feeling very well after I rode the rides. What seemed to be a headachy feeling turned into a queasiness. Oh no, you guessed it. I was getting older, and what I remember happening to my dad, and other older people was now happening to me. One of my favorite summer activities was not going to be fun anymore. Bummer!

It worked out though.

Here’s why, by the time I wasn’t enjoying myself much on the rides, I had become a Mama of my own kids. The first time I saw my little boy Riley on

Bulgy the Whale, tears came to my eyes.
Source  

to see his happiness, his complete joy at what he was experiencing was sooo much better to me than the experience of riding the rides myself.

Being a parent and watching my children experience life, especially the good things in life is the best! It makes me think about Father in Heaven and how He must feel when He watches us enjoying this life experience. What a blessing it is that God has allowed us to experience in some small way what I’m sure makes Him happy, watching His children loving life. When our kids are happy and loving life that gives us the same joy.

So Emily, my “Bonus Baby” went to Lagoon with Kelsey, my “Dream Come True” recently, and when they were riding on one of the fast rides Emily passed out, and her head whipped around and hit Kelsey in the face. The back of Emily’s head hit Kelsey’s cheek to be exact. Kelsey got a bruise, and Emily got a concussion. They laughed a little right after, but they were both really sore. Emily was sad because she said she doesn’t enjoy the rides like she used to when she was little, or young. It has already changed for her. I told her, “Just wait till your sweet tiny girl is a little bigger, and she can go on Bulgy the Whale.” Then I shared with her the secret about being a parent and watching your children experience true happiness!

Slower and Steadier…or “Just Keep Swimming” …Some More!

Posted on by
Reply

Many years ago in the first few years of having a blog, I wrote a post about

“Slow and Steady.”

I shared the story of our son encouraging me in a overwhelmed moment to remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. He said, “Mom remember, slow and steady wins the race.” Trying to encourage me, he was letting me know that is is better to just move steady in the direction you want to go. Slow and steady progress is better that going so fast that you have to stop and rest because you’ve worn yourself out. Awesome advice!

I still think about that experience often and I’m grateful for that cute little guy who reminded me. I seem to have been slower and steadier, lately than I like. I am doing my best to

“just keep swimming”

like Dory. So much of the things I am accomplishing are taking all I have to give. I haven’t had much energy left to blog, or even share my thoughts much.

Honestly, I feel like I’ve done the whole blog thing wrong. I don’t have a clue if anyone reads what I write and don’t really know how to make things better. I keep reminding myself, that even if no one reads the blog, my family will someday be glad I wrote some things down. I know I still have things to say, I’m just trying to get back in the swing and start writing.

One thought that crossed my mind is that next year is the tenth blogiversary. I may just put a big effort in until then and be done. We’ll see. So my goal is to: write, and do better at getting on here consistently.

My Job List!

Posted on by
Reply

I have in my notes on my phone a list.

At first I called it: Past Jobs/Past Regrets. 

I have had many jobs in my life. I didn’t really mean to have many jobs, but it just happened. As my Darlin and I would drive around town here or there, I would say, “I worked there!” He said I needed to make a list. I thought that might be a good idea just for fun. So I did. I started my list with my first job after babysitting as a teenager.

Let me name a few of my jobs: picking cherries, fast food, summer recreation, t-shirt store, flowers, phone sales, motel, delivery, Fitness instructor, retail, amusement park, selling knifes, photographer assistant, Cosmetology, book store, personal assistant, dentist office, daycare, lunch lady, real estate, and insurance, just to name a few.

I can’t say I’ve spent a lot of time at each job.

Some jobs I just tried, to see how things went.

Sometimes the employer called me to offer me a job, without me even applying. Yes, that happened.

Sometimes I was in desperate need of a job to help pay bills, and took what I could get.

Sometimes I wasn’t a good fit for them, sometimes they weren’t a good fit for me.

I wouldn’t trade any experience I have had. I have learned so much, and all of that experience is part of who I am.

I ran into two of my friends at the grocery store, and they were asking about my job at the flower shop. I told them how much I love it. How blessed I feel to have it. Somehow my job list came up in the conversation. They said they wanted to see it. I pulled out my phone and showed them the list. They scanned down the list, asking about this job or that. I would tell them about some of my experiences. They said they didn’t even want to go to that many interviews, let alone work at that many jobs. They told me I was brave, motivated and amazing. I loved that. They said, “You need to change the name of your list to: “My Bravery and Experience”, list, which I did.

My last job on my Bravery and Experience list is my last, best job @ the flower shop!

I love my job! Sometimes you have to go through some hard, not fun, jobs to get to your last, best job! I’m glad I have “My Bravery and Experience” list, and to have all the bravery and experience to go with it!

“…What Matters Most”

Posted on by
Reply

I love this misty picture of our new, old house. Built in 1906.

For the last little while I have not been my best self.

I do put quite a bit of pressure on myself to get things done. I am always trying to do so many things that at the end of the day I usually say, “I didn’t get enough done.” or “I feel like I’ll never get this or that finished.”

So with our move almost 3 years ago, I really struggled with feeling my best. I have depression, and I had just been through one of the biggest changes of my life.

We moved after living in the same house and neighborhood for 18 years. We moved to a smaller house planning for the future and simplifying our lives, which made us empty nesters. I had looked forward to this time, but did not anticipate how hard it would actually be. We had all our kids with us at the other house, including our married son, his wife and our grandbaby, who lived in a little apartment in the basement. We saw them all the time. Our middle two kids had been home from LDS missions for a couple of years, and we had just received our youngest daughter home from her LDS mission in December and moved in March. I still struggle with that, because I wish I’d had more time with her at home before she got married. Now she’s married and lives about 45 minutes away and I usually only see her every other week for Sunday dinner.

FYI. I took the love language test and my love language is time.

So there came a time shortly after the move that I could not stop crying. I have taken medication for depression for many years, but it wasn’t helping this sadness. This sadness, was coming from knowing that my time of being a mom with my children at home was over. I was so lonesome for them. They were raised, and now adults living on their own. My usual routine was completely different.

There were days I couldn’t leave the house. There were days when I didn’t get much done at all. There were also times I felt like my eyes would always be swollen from crying. I practiced saying many positive mantras, lot’s of prayer, focusing on blessings, and the beauty of the world around me, and I think we tweaked my medication.

As I was studying one day, I found a talk by Elder David A. Bednar. In it he talks about spending a Sunday afternoon with one of the other apostles Elder Robert D. Hales as he was recovering from an illness. Elder Bednar asked Elder Hales to share a lesson he had learned through all of his responsibilities as he has grown older and been constrained by decreased physical capacity.

He said,  “When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.”

This was perfect for me especially as I adjusted to my new life as an empty nester, my new routine, neighborhood, and house. I had to be patient with myself. I had to say “No” when people asked me to do this or that, knowing it was too much for me at that time. I am doing much better, now. I still have days that are tough sometimes, but I know that, when I cannot do what I have always done, then I only do what matters most.

I am so grateful for lesson’s!

Happy New Year! Happy 2018!

Posted on by
Reply

Happy 2018!

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

-Minnie Louise Haskins

Whenever a new year starts, I think of this introduction to Minnie Haskins poem. I am always a little apprehensive about the new year. Will it be a year of learning, growth, love, and success? Maybe it’s not good to have expectations. I don’t always do well when things don’t turn out the way I was hoping or planning. I know realistically, that there will be challenges, that’s what life is all about. We never really know what the new year will bring. Let’s see what happened in 2017.

This past year has brought many blessings and challenges:

*We were blessed in our family with a new grand baby. She is such a sweet little soul and has been so much fun to love and watch her as she learns new things. I can’t imagine my life without her.

*We found out that a family member has cancer. It’s tough to know those we love are going to suffer. Its hard to know how to love, and help them. Maybe praying for them is enough.

*We lost my husbands mom. She was 82 and lived a wonderful live, and had been alone since the passing of her husband a few years ago. I believe they are together now.

*Our young nephew passed away unexpectedly. He has been sick, but not with something we thought would take his life. He will be missed and I know hearts are broken from the loss.

*I was blessed to find and work at my dream job, at a flower shop. I love the flowers, the people I work with, and my boss is wonderful. I am so happy to have a job that allows me to make a living, and be creative. It is also a blessing to be able to bless other peoples lives with something beautiful that can ease sadness, and put a smile on their face. I love it!

* I have a family. They are a big part of my life. I am so grateful for a wonderful husband and amazing grown children. I have two perfect daughter-in-laws and one super son-in-law, the most precious grandchildren you could ask for, and extended family that are the bomb! What would I do without them? I don’t want to think about it. I have ancestors whose example and lives help me to keep going. Family is the best!

The thing that helps me as I think about the new year, is that God is a part of my life. All our lives. He is there to listen, bless and help us as we travel through the year. His hand and guidance is “better than light, and safer than a known way.” His love can help us through anything. Sometimes during the busy, hectic days I have to stop, and just listen. Feel my heart beating… is He close?  Yes. I know He is. Say a little prayer, and tell Him how much I love Him. I know He will help me as I go on my way. He will help you, too.

This last few years I’ve really struggled with depression. I have so much sadness at times. I have not done a great job on this blog, but I want to do better, and that is my goal. I hope that what I say can be a blessing to someone reading this.

Best wishes for the New Year! 2018!

Change: Out With the Old, In With the New!

Posted on by
Reply

Sometimes change is a good thing!

First the old: It all started 30 or so years ago my hubby became a locksmith. It was a choice he might not have made, except his dad decided to learn how to do it too. He was a locksmith full time for at least a year. It was a big investment financially in the beginning. There were tools, machines, keys, etc. to buy to get started. Then we realized it was not the job for us. Many things about the job made it a hard job, on call on holidays, no insurance, on and on. Even though my darlin kept the tools and machines for all these years, he didn’t do it as his job. He had moved on to better opportunities, and at this time has a great job with many benefits.

Now for the new: Like I said this locksmith job was many years ago, and we have had the tools and machines for all this time. They were taking up room in our tiny garage, and it wasn’t leaving enough room for the car. I said, “Why don’t you put all these things from locksmithing in the trunk of you car, and then when you are driving around town you can stop at a locksmithing business here in town and see if they want to buy these things?” He agreed and put them in his trunk. About six months later, he came home from running errands and said, “Guess what? I sold my locksmithing stuff.” Yay!!!

I wondered what he would do with the money.

He had such a great idea. He decided to buy a tennis racket stringer. The best part about that, is that he loves tennis!!! He is good at tennis, and plays at least once a week with friends. He had spend time and money on the locksmithing stuff so it was hard for him to part with them, but it ended up being a really great thing!

I’m so glad! 

Visiting Puffin’s? It’s a Happy Place!

Posted on by
Reply

There are some things in life that just fill my heart with happiness! One of those things are

Puffin’s!

PuffinsAndFlowers

All of God’s creations are amazing. I always try to make a habit of noticing and truly appreciating the beauty and wonder around me.

On my list of favorites is this cute sea bird called a Puffin. 

The Puffin is a small, black and white bird, with a colorful beak. It’s beak is not always colorful, but during the breeding season it is colorful. They can dive deep to fish for food, or fly for long periods of time. When they rest on the open sea, they can sit on the ocean and ride the waves. These cute little birds mate for life, but separate during the winter months coming back to the same place during breeding season. The female only lays one egg and she and her mate take turns sitting on the egg and feeding the Puffling once it is hatched. Yes, the young Puffin is called a Puffling! I could watch them for hours.

That brings up the reason for the post, I found a bird cam that is on Seal Island in Maine, Puffin’s breed there and Audubon has a camera so I can watch them as long as I want. Here’s the link for you!

It is called the Puffin loafing ledge.

IMG_7315

The Puffin’s are truly an example of living a good life.

First: The never forget where home is. Second: They mate for life. They separate for a time and return to each other. Third: They work hard for their food and to feed the family. Forth: They know how to soar and they know how to dive. Sometimes life gives you ups and sometimes life gives downs. Fifth: When they need a break, the take it easy and float on the waves. You could say they “go with the flow”.

Maybe we can all learn to be more like Puffin’s!

7

Posted on by
Reply

Today, it has been 7 years since I started my blog!

IMG_0202

It’s my blogiversary!!

So here’s a list of 7 things I’ve learned blogging for 7 years:

1-Always remember why you do it.

IMG_6116

I don’t spend a lot of time on other peoples blogs. I am trying my best to get a grip in my life and sitting on the computer all day doesn’t help. So if I don’t have a lot of visitors, because I’m not commenting all the time on others blogs, I’m ok with that. I am leaving a journal with stories and what not for my family and anyone else who would like to visit. I love you all!

2-Put your best foot forward.

IMG_6101

Emily and Anthony’s cute socks and shoes on their wedding day!

I struggle sometimes. I prefer to not focus on complaining. It’s really not me anyway. I am a joyful person! I am always looking for the blessings in life.

3-Have variety.

IMG_6095

If I always focus on one topic, it’s like I’m talking in a monotone voice. That’s not very fun! So it’s good to mix it up.

4-Be totally honest.

IMG_6241

I am, what I am. I love to share what I feel and the adventures I’m having. Sometimes, life is challenging. Maybe if I share how I’m working through a challenge it might help someone else. Who’s to say…;)

5-It takes a lot of effort sometimes, and that’s ok.

69665_4306596187327_185160078_n

Remember Dory? Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!

6-“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

IMG_5315

I am a firm believer that love conquers all. I don’t agree with everyone on the internet, and I know they don’t all agree with me, but we can be kind and show love for other humans when we communicate.

7-Sharing what matters most to me is fun!

DSC01984

Sunday’s really are Best! Family History is so fun! Missionaries make me happy! Beautiful Places are beautiful! My Darlin, First Born, Janet, Dream Come True, Most Quoted, Amber, Bonus Baby, Anthony, Grandbabies, and Tayzie mean the world to me! Someday this blog will be a treasure for the people I love, maybe it is already. Either way, it’s here and waiting for a visit from all!

Thank you for visiting! I hope you return often!

Love, Joy

Expectations!

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve been going through boxes…still.

I moved a year ago, we downsized.

Somethings you can go through quick, and junk or donate. Somethings take time, like the kids school papers, and family memorabilia. My expectation was that I would scrapbook, or organize as we lived, and experienced the things that are now in boxes, while we were experiencing the memory.

Wrong!

I was busy when they happened,

Living!

Now, if you’re one of those mom’s like I was, don’t be hard on yourself. Do the best you can, and someday you can be like me. 😉 I found some pictures today of my kids when they were just tiny. With tears streaming down my cheeks I thought of all the fun we had as a family when they were little. It was the best! I wouldn’t trade it for anything!!!

If I had organized all the things I meant to, I wouldn’t be spending time today thinking about how blessed I’ve been to have children, a sweet darlin, and wonderful memories of all of us growing together!

BradWithRiley

Riley 2 years old with Uncle Brad

AlexWithGrandpa

Alex 6 months old with Grandpa

RileyAndKelsey

Riley 5 years old and Kelsey 2 years old (me in the background)