Category Archives: My Life Stories!

My Philosophy on Money

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Money is hard for me to wrap my brain around.

I know I need it to live, buy things, and enjoy life, but I don’t always know for sure how I’m going to do all of these things. I just do the best I can and it seems to work.

One reason why I think money is hard for me is because I’m not a number gal. I’m not good at Math, I don’t speak the language, I mean basics yes, but I’ve always struggled with remembering numbers.

Let me share an example; when I go to the store to buy bananas they have a price. The labeled price may be higher or lower than the last time, best price or average price. I would never know the difference. I don’t know how much bananas sell for. If I need bananas, I buy them. I know this sounds weird, like I never shop, but I do. I should know, but I don’t. Even right now I have no idea how much they are and I don’t care. Maybe that’s why I don’t know or pay attention, is because it’s not important to me. Interestingly enough. For years when I would make a trip to the store for some groceries, my total, without adding or counting what I had in the cart was almost always around $70-$75. No kidding! Yes, I bought a lot of the same or similar things but not always. If we needed it, I just bought it and if we didn’t I didn’t. I’m very frugal anyway and always have been. Now my average is more like $100-$120. Still that’s not much compared to what most people spend.

I don’t really like to shop for clothes much. I love to thrift! One of the funnest things about thrifting is the hunt. Looking for a treasure! “One man’s garbage is another man’s (or woman’s) treasure,” is truth. Something about buying a used item, and it’s still usable makes my heart happy.

I would also consider myself very humble as far a my looks go. Honestly I’m just an average looking gal. I went to cosmetology school when I was young, and still have my license, but I don’t spent much on myself. I remember my teachers in school telling us that what we do is enhance or compliment the natural beauty. What that tells me is blue hair, super long nails, and incredibly long and thick eyelashes are not natural. I have are hard time spending money on things that are not necessary, and cost a ton. I know that lots of girls get hair extensions and they can cost thousands of dollars. I know that is not a good thing. I colored my hair for years. Then I didn’t want to pay someone to do it, so I taught my sweety how to do it. He struggle with it a little and I finally thought “Why?” I don’t care about having my hair colored, I’m getting older and I think I should act my age. So I quit. I was only spending about $10-$15 dollars a month on my hair, so I decided to donate $10/month to our churches Humanitarian Fund. It’s not much, but I feel better about that, and I have grown very fond of my gray hair.

As far as going on trips and adventures go, we are very careful about that. We are trying to prepare for retirement, and feel like we don’t want to struggle then. Paying extra on our house, doing some investing, and living frugal will hopefully make retirement happen. But we do have very generous people in our lives who are always blessing us with fun things to do. My best friend is a gem about letting us visit and enjoy fun times with them. My siblings have helped us go on sibling trips by sharing the financial responsibilities. We mostly just do visits with our friends and family close to home.

When the kids were little money was such a challenge, but we paid our tithing and still do, and we have never gone without. We were able to help 3 of kids serves LDS missions, and enjoyed a few trips a year to Bear Lake and Park City. My in-laws had a trailer at Bear Lake and a timeshare at Park City. We had so much fun and spent very little money.

To some up, I’d say my philosophy about money is respect it, what it can do for you, even if you live modestly. Always have a grateful heart. Like I told the kids years ago, not all blessings are financial. We have everything we need and we are very comfortable. We use only what we need, and share with others.

Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

God is good. Money is a necessary part of life, but when you careful and always grateful there is always enough!

The Time I Thought Amanda Died.

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 For years now, me and my sweetie have shopped at thrift stores and had a blast doing it. We have found all kinds of things; home furnishings, knickknacks, toys, scrapbook paraphernalia, and clothing, to name a few. It is always so much fun to see what we find. What kind of treasure we will get to take home. 

One time while shopping at the thrift store, I found several jean type pants that were my size and in very great shape. On the back at the waist, inside where the belt would go looked like an iron-on label that said: Amanda. 

Now, it’s not uncommon to find clothing at the thrift store that has come from a rest home or convalescent center where someone has passed on and they are donating all of their clothes. Each of these pants had the name Amanda just inside the waistband in the back. I thought, “Hmmmm, maybe Amanda died at the old folks home so they donated her pants.” I was so excited, because if Amanda died, she was free from the toil and hardships of this world, and I would be the new owner of her pants. They were in great shape in various colors and just my size. In other words, we would both benefit from her death. I have enjoyed these pants for some time and been very grateful for them.

Then on a recent trip to St. George, I once again was shopping at the thrift store and came across some really nice pants and looked at the back of the waist to find the name: Amanda. I was so surprised! Maybe Amanda didn’t die and maybe it was just the style of the pants that had been made for a cute little chunky chick like me from this company. I found my sweetie, and exclaimed, “Amanda didn’t die!” He looked perplexed and said, “what are you talking about?” I reminded him about all the pants we found up north, closer to home that we thought belonged to Amanda, and that we also thought she died at the rest home, and they donated her pants. He said, “Oh, yeah!” I showed him the pants I just found and said, “There’s no way Amanda could be in a rest home up north and in St George, a month later and die again. We laughed and laughed and I got some more new Amanda pants.

Possible ADHD or Square Peg

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When I was a kid in school I liked many things about it; making friends, playing on the play ground, going to gym class, and possibly learning new things. I don’t remember learning to read, but I loved the Dick and Jane books. The pictures were so colorful and the children were adorable. I can’t really remember liking learning new things, because sometimes it was hard. Sometimes it felt like my head hurt. I must have like learning though, because I did.

I’m so glad I learned enough to get me to adulthood and now I love learning. Maybe it’s one of the times that “practice makes perfect” or at least practice makes better. I may have had ADHD, but it really wasn’t a thing back then and I know my Mama always said my older brother Brian was hyper active. That was what they called it back then. He did graduate from college with a degree, so he must have learned some coping skills. I was not like him in the hyper sense. I liked to play and be busy, just not hyper active. Raising 3 children with ADHD, I have felt they are extremely gifted, they just learn, and express themselves in a different way. I used to say the school system was a round hole and my kids were a square peg. They are amazing, gifted, and talented people who grew up to be wonderful adults and contributors.

I’m not great with math even now. It’s ok though because I don’t really use it for much and I have a calculator on my phone. I still don’t know how to write sentences and other English things, I usually have my daughter proof read my writing, she’s a genius at English. I loved gymnastics which I took instead of gym all through junior high and high school. I know that I liked anything that had to do with art. In fact probably my favorite class was pottery. This was my senior year in high school and we had such a great time throwing pots on the wheel and learning all about pottery, glaze and how to put a handle on a pitcher or cup. Maybe it was the fact that we were using our hands and forming the clay. It was so tactile. Feeling the clay move past my hands while it was going so fast and pulling it ever so carefully up or out to create a vase or bowl. It was so fun.

Maybe I was just bored in the other classes, not ADHD, maybe I just hadn’t found the thing for me. I never had a hard time staying focused in pottery class. Thankfully I have learned to love learning new things and I have learned how to focus when it is important.

I think ADHD or a square peg are just different, and I’m ok with it. If fact I honor it.

Something Absolutely Precious

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Merriam-Webster defines precious as something of great value or high price, like precious jewels, highly esteemed or cherished.

When the kids were little, their schools always had a talent show every year. If the kids wanted to be involved, they would let me know so that I could come. The year Alex was in first grade I think, I never heard a word about the talent show until after the talent show. While talking with one of the teachers at the school, she mentioned that Alex was in the talent show. I said he was? She said yes and then she started to cry. She said it was the most adorable thing, it was precious. He went up in front of the whole school and said that he was going to whistle, which he did, but it wasn’t a melody or a song. It was just one note, for few seconds, and then he went and sat down. The reason why this particular teacher thought it was so precious, was because some of the children were doing talents, such as; playing an instrument, doing a dance, singing a song, reading a poem, but Alex’s talent was that he had recently learned to whistle and wanted to share it with the whole school.

When I heard this, I started to cry. He has always been a very sweet and precious little boy. Now he is a very sweet adult daddy, and the father of two darling children of his own. I’m so grateful this teacher told me about Alex in the talent show. He never said a word and neither did anyone else, but it is now a cherished story and memory for me, and I think it is something absolutely precious.

She’s Got a Mouth on Her 

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One time when I was in the clerk’s office at church, I was filling out our tithing slip and also filling out our missionary contributions.

I did a no no, and I said a swear word. 

We had two missionaries out the time Kelsey was serving in Texas. Alex was serving in South Africa. We knew our main responsibility was Alex, because members in our ward made the generous offer to help in paying for Kelsey‘s mission.

At the time the monthly amount needed, for a missionary was $400. Both sets of grandparents were each paying $100 as well. It was such a blessing to have all this help while our kids served the Lord. This did not, however, stop me from worrying or feeling concerned about our finances and whether we would be able to come up with enough money to help with the missionaries. Even while filling out the forms, I was hoping and wondering if we could make ends meet in my mind. I was always worried about money.

Even though I consider myself a fairly righteous person, I’m definitely not perfect and have had a problem with swearing most of my adult life.

I’m sorry to say I just feel better after I say a swear word.

So on this day, standing in the clerks office trying to fill out the form. I made a mistake on the form and said a naughty word. I hate to say it but I’m sure they all heard what I said. I followed it up with, “When you guys get to heaven, please put in a good word for me. I’ll need all the help I can get.”

They laughed, but said nothing else. I hate it when that happens I may have even been the primary president during this incident as well. Oh well, I may be OK after all. J. Golden Kimball, when asked if he thought he’d make it to Heaven replied, “Yes, because I repent too damn fast.” I love that, knowing that an apostle used colorful language and even he thought it’s OK when you say a swear once in a while.

When I was a kid, my mama had two main swears that she used. Although she would say she wasn’t swearing. The first one was “Hells bells!” When faced with a challenge or a difficult task, sometimes Mom would say, “Oh, Hells bells!” The other one was,  “Dingdong damn.” It was one of my favorites because she’s usually be upset with one of us kids or upset with something we did or didn’t do and she say, “I don’t give a dingdong damn what you do!”

Because she added a word to the swear word she acted like it wasn’t swearing. We knew better, it’s all in your intent. So as a Mama myself, I just dropped the dingdong or the hells, and use the words without the embellishments my mama used. I think in the grand scheme of things, she’s ok and so am I.

Mostly because “We repent too damn fast!”

Arnold Friberg

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Many years ago when our Most Quoted son was in elementary school I accompanied him and his class on a field trip to the Utah State Capital. The Capital building is beautiful and one of the most prominent buildings in Salt Lake City. It is a exciting place to visit.

The purpose for the 4th grade field trip was to see the painting of Arnold Friberg’s “Prayer at Valley Forge.” It was on display at the capital and many of the school children from around the city would make the trip to see it.

It is a beloved painting featuring our first United States president, George Washington kneeling next to his horse in prayer. “It was the winter of 1777-78 at the most hopeless and discouraging time in the history of the Revolutionary War. The struggling Americans had been defeated in battle after battle and were losing all hope. Neglected by congress the soldiers were starving, and freezing, and dying without pay, and without shoes and clothing. It is said that you could track where the men walked by the blood on the snow,” said Arnold Friberg about the painting.

George Washington was their general and could have had nice accommodations, but chose to stay with his men and share in the hardships they were going through. He was such a wonderful leader, whose heart was gold and his soul was courageous. His character was what all true leaders should be, full of valor, and patriotism and a love of freedom and right. Because of his deep belief in God he knew he could pray and receive help.

Arnold Friberg said himself, “Where else could he turn, but to God?”

We went into the Gold Room at the Utah State Capital where the painting was displayed. I felt reverence and awe. What a beautiful rendition of that time in our history. I truly felt his urgency and need. I can’t imagine the weight on his shoulders. Everyone, I mean everyone was counting on him. He was counting on God.

As we came out of the Gold Room, me and Flexy were with his teacher Mr. Rhees. I saw a group of people standing around a man. I said to Mr. Rhees, “I think that’s Arnold Friberg.” We went to where he was talking to this group and listened. It was Mr. Friberg. He was giving personal information about his experience painting the beautiful, Prayer at Valley Forge. I am so grateful we came to listen. He said that at the period of time when he painted Prayer at Valley Forge it was common and usual to paint hands clasped in prayer with the palms together hands flat, but he felt that didn’t portray the urgency, and great need for Devine help. So he painted George Washington’s hands with the fingers interlocked and the knuckles almost white in a pleading gesture. Wow! I love that so much.

I felt that when I looked at the painting and I feel that in prayer about our country even now. As a citizen of our great nation I am so grateful to God for blessing the whole world with such a country as the United States of America. Is it perfect? No, but it is an example that when you put God first, like the founding fathers did, and have a desire to serve that God, and fight for the right to do so, He will bless your efforts and make more of them.

This nation gives us the right to chose: Who we worship, where we live, what we do. It gives us opportunities and possibilities, and that makes this nation the greatest. The United States of America is a blessing to me, and to all the world. I am so grateful for George Washington and others who fought and sacrificed for the rights we now enjoy. I am so grateful to our Father in Heaven for blessing me to live in such a wonderful country, with so many freedoms. I pray with interlocked fingers and white knuckles that it may continue to be “Home of the Free, because of the Brave.”

Arnold Friberg gave us a gem. Prayer at Valley Forge is a masterpiece. It was so fun to visit the Utah State Capital and see this beautiful painting, and to hear Arnold Friberg share an insight I will cherish forever.

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It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, and to be grateful for his benefits, and to humbly implore his protection in favor.

-George Washington, Thanksgiving Proclamation.

Best Freebee!

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I think we all like to get something for nothing. A gift, or a prize that you entered a drawing to win. Even if you win a prize, was it really free? You may end up with nonstop junk mail because your name and address were sold to multiple businesses. 

Most of the time nothing is free. But I’m so grateful for the time when we received a beautiful free Christmas tree. Back when Brett and I were a young married couple with small children it was close to Christmas time and we didn’t have a tree and we didn’t have money for a tree. 

My dad had a beautiful blue spruce pine tree in his yard that he had planted in a certain location. He had changed his mind about the location and decided he didn’t really want a tree in that spot. When he became aware that we needed a tree and didn’t have money for a tree, he offered the beautiful blue spruce tree to us to be our Christmas tree. 

Now when you’re looking at a tree in the great outdoors, it doesn’t really look that big, but when we got this tree in our house, it was huge. 

It was beautiful, but it was huge. 

We ended up having to attach it to the wall at the top of the vaulted ceiling, so it wouldn’t tip over. What a sight! We thoroughly enjoyed this tree that took up most of our family room. Because it was a beautiful blue color, I ended up using peach and brass and gold decorations. It was gorgeous. 

To this day it is one of my favorite Christmas trees we’ve ever had. The story of our Dad-my Dad giving it to us and having it come from his yard, made it even more special. 

Yes, sometimes things are free. Sometimes the thing that’s free is a blessing and a beautiful gift at a wonderful time of year. I’ll never forget the most beautiful blue spruce Christmas tree!

Uncles

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Uncle Anthony and niece Luna

Merriam Webster defines an uncle as: the brother of one’s father or mother, or the husband of one’s aunt or uncle.

When I thought about writing about my uncles, I didn’t realize it would be kind of a sad thing. I first thought about who my uncles are:

I had one maternal uncle.

I had 6 paternal uncles.

My Mama only had one sister, that means one uncle. I didn’t really know him very well. They lived a distance away and when we saw the family I was busy playing and having fun with my cousins.

My Daddy had two brothers and 5 sisters. In his family there were 6 uncles. Some of them lived far away in other states, from us. I only saw them a few times in my life and the others I never even met them. All of my uncles have passed on now.

Merriam Webster also says that an uncle is: one who helps, advises, or encourages.

I will say I really never had an experience like that with my uncles.

Maybe that’s why I feel like having family close is so important. I have 5 siblings, my sweetie has 6 siblings. That means there are many aunts and uncles and they all live (at least part time) within a few hours of us. My children have grown up knowing their uncles and aunts and having a relationship with them. I love that.

Family is so important to me. Building relationships and memories together is the glue that keeps a family happy and loving each other. It takes work. We used to see the family I grew up in often. We saw my darlin’s family often, now it’s a little less often. We all have our own families, grandkids and that is where the focus is.

As I’ve gotten older the effort of planning, and arranging get togethers is harder and more exhausting. It’s still worth it though. I know my kids love their uncles and have great relationships with them. I am so happy about that!

The last definition Merriam Webster gives for uncle is: used as a cry of surrender. I laughed out loud when I saw that. I guess that is where I’ll end this post. Life is tough. It is an ongoing effort to do your best to see everyone as often as you can, even uncles. When you want things a certain way or different than it is. I always thought I’d see all the family more, but I don’t always get to choose how things go. Everyones get to choose for themselves how much time they have for family. So with that, I’ll just say “uncle!” and surrender to what is. Uncles are wonderful and I’m glad they’re part of life.

Most Memorable District Meeting

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When you’re a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are many meetings to go to. We would meet with our district about once a month and zone about once a quarter. Our district leaders were two young men, also full time missionaries.They would check to see how we were doing, and give us counsel. They would give us a little lesson, pertaining to how to be our best as missionaries.

One meeting one of the district leaders asked us if we’d like a piece of cake. Of course we said, “Yes, please!” The cake was on the table where we could all see it. It was decorated very nice with the word Gospel written across it with icing. The elder proceeded to bring out a beautiful china plate and carefully slice the cake and put a piece of cake on the plate, with a lovely silver fork. The plate was then carefully handed to the first person. It was so nice!

The next person in line for cake waited with anticipation for the beautiful cake, plate and fork, and the delivery which was expected to be just like the first piece. To our surprise the elder took from a bag a paper plate, then while holding the paper plate with one hand, took the other hand and grabbed a hand full of cake and plopped it on the paper plate. He got a plastic fork, put it on the paper plate with the cake and shoved it at the next person, and said, “Here!”

We were stunned. I think we all just sat there for a minute with our mouths open.

I feel like the lesson is obvious. At least it was to us. And the question was asked, “How do you share the Gospel?” Are you polite? Do you prepare and is your presentation a lovely and pleasant experience for those you’re sharing it with? Are you rude, or pushy? What about your appearance? Are you clean, well groomed and smell and look nice? Do you leave people with a good and happy taste in their mouth? Is the Gospel truth you share leave them wanting more?

This was such a memorable experience. I have been thoroughly grateful for it. I did then and do now, try to present my testimony and belief of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a loving and pleasant way. What a great lesson!

Growing Up.

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As a child I wanted to be grown up. I wanted to buy a car, get married, have children, own a home and decorate. It all sounded like fun! And seeing people travel the world, and having fun adventures always looks better on film, or in pictures. We have no idea what went into the planning, the money involved and the energy it took to do their life.

The hardest part about growing up for me has been doing hard things. Responsible things like, working, or giving birth, or making dinner. There is an artist that I love named Mary Engelbreit. She made a calendar years ago with the quote, “Life is Just So Daily” on the front. I’m sure kids don’t get it, but adults do.

Since I have been an adult, I’ve realized our parents and others made it look good. They must have had struggles and challenges, but I was really unaware. I must have been busy being a kid. I heard it said once, “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!” Hahaha! That’s funny, and true! There are mundane daily things like dishes, laundry and chores, but also some really hard challenges and experiences. You just need to keep going, keep living and plugging along.

I have spent the majority of my adult years very overwhelmed and feeling pretty bad about myself. My expectations of what it would be like and how I would manage were way off. I was very disappointed in myself. Then I learned some great lessons. I learned that life is harder as an adult than I thought it would be. I learned that it’s ok to not have it all together. I learned that for the rest of my life I will be trying to get a grip. And that’s ok. I learned that even in all the challenges of being an adult, there are some major benefits too.

Some of the best blessings and most cherished experiences you can only have with a sweetheart and in a family, as an adult. Getting married and having your best friend as your mate is like a play date. He’s so wonderful, and fun, and sometimes I with I could send him home to “his” house, but we just go to bed and things are better in the morning. To create life with my sweetheart is so wonderful. To see him holding and loving and caring for our kids, and grandkids is such a treasure. To have things and stuff that we have worked for, a home, cars, fun toys, comfortable furniture, and we can’t forget food to enjoy is the best. But most important is the relationships, the family, the time and the love we have experienced in a greater sense than ever before in life.

Growing up is hard, but it is the best!