I hesitate to write this post.
I know, I know, “our joyful nest” is supposed to be “a happy place to be”, but I’m sorry to say it’s not always the happiest. It’s not the saddest either. It’s just normal life, with it’s ups and downs.
I knew when we moved a few months ago that there might be some struggles for me emotionally. I don’t mind small changes and I usually cope well with them, but big changes sometimes throw me for a loop.
I have officially been thrown for a loop.
I’m not one to share complaints, or go on and on about my challenges. I do have a tendency to stay a little more quiet, and try to work through it by myself, but I wanted to give an explanation for my lack of posting lately.
Depression. I am a woman named “Joy” who struggles with depression. It’s just wrong…:}. Or at least it seems like something a person like me would never deal with. I have been told by many people once I tell them, they “can’t believe it.” I have learned to cope through the years, but sometimes I have to work harder than ever to make it past a snag. Like moving out of a house I’ve lived in for 18 years and having all of my children move out on their own at the same time.
I absolutely love my children, like most mothers do, so having them not live with me anymore is a lonesome thing. At the same time, I know it is good for them to grow up and I love living as empty nesters with my darling sweet hubsy. I still worry about them, and wonder what time they got home on a Friday night.
Too much to do, not enough time to do it in. This never seems to change.
So of course life continues and I am still learning. Some days I am struggling very much with even leaving the house. I do it anyway, and I pretend a lot on those days.
I thought since I just spilled my guts that I would tell you some of the things I do to cope with these struggles.
Coping with #1
First of all I am on medication for depression. I lovingly call it my “happy” pill.
I never miss it!
I have tried many different medications through the years and this one works for me. I still feel the effects of depression to a certain extent, and I know I need it. I have weaned myself off before and could not stop crying, so I went back on it.
I learned that sugar is a “no, no” for me and so I am very careful with my sugar consumption.
I take vitamins, and eat lots of healthy food. Green things and natural things.
I get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night.
I attend church on a regular basis and pray always, believing with all my heart that the Savior can help me live my life to the fullest, and that He knows me and what I’m dealing with in my life. It is faith that helps me when I have negative thoughts come to my mind. I know certain things like: I am a wonderful person who is very blessed. I have family that loves and supports me and I can do hard things. I repeat in my mind that I know this, when my feelings tell me “you suck”, “no one cares”. or “God doesn’t get you”.
Gratitude! I am constantly reminding myself of all the blessings I have, even dealing with depression and struggles is a blessing.
The best thing I do to cope is to forget myself. In the middle of all of the things I feel sad about, I get busy loving someone who is worse off than me, someone who is struggling more. Sometimes I can’t do this, but I do what I can to move past the sadness. This works for me. It may not work for everyone.
Oh, I almost forgot...laugh! I have mentioned before in other posts that I laugh really easy. This is truly a blessing to me. If I’m really struggling I can watch a movie or read something that makes me laugh. 🙂
I even listen to uplifting music. This helps a ton.
I believe that we owe it to those we love and who love us to be our best self. It is not fun to live with a grumpy, sad person. I don’t want to be that person to those I love, so I do my best to be my best self.
Coping with #2
I absolutely love my children.
So this is a similar way to cope as with #1, because I do a lot of self talk.
I love my children, and I love to be with them as much as possible. They love me too, but their not supposed to be spending a lot of time with their mom and dad. They’re supposed to be living their own life. They work, go to school, date, and my oldest is supposed to be spending time with his family.
If they are doing their own thing, that is good!!!
Some people have a hard time getting their kids to leave “the nest”, we should be happy that they are happy to leave! “Yay! We did a good thing, we raised them and taught them to be independent, responsible adults, and to live on their own.”
I feel sad for a minute and talk to myself and then get busy doing something else.
Coping with #3
Too much to do, not enough time to do it in.
I can’t believe I still struggle with this… really! I love to get things done. I am a list person. I love to make lists of the things I need to get done and then check each item off as I do them. The problem is I always try to put too much into each day, and then I’m bummed when I don’t complete the list. Dur!!!
I have to remind myself… it’s ok to take your time.
Like my son Alex said “Remember, ‘Slow and Steady wins the race!'”
Read the post, here!
So…now you know more about me than you ever wanted to know. I hope in some small way that what I have said is helpful to someone out there.
We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. He sent His son to show us by example how to live. He atoned for our sins and because of this we can always do better. We mean everything to Him. You mean everything to Him!!
and I love you!
“Have courage for the great sorrows of life, and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” -Victor Hugo